How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
...so i touched it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
