just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
