I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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