The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
