I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My vagina just clenched in fear
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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