First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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