i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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