you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
