i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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