He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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