Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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