Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
