I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
