3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think people are normalizing furries
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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