MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sorry about my life...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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