Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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