I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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