Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
