Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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