She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
