She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
