Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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