Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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