dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
