so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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