Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
