so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
