i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize