fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
