i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
