walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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