My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
