are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Two words: blizzard sex
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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