Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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