you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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