i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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