just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
