her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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