have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize