How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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