ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
