I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Randomize