I CAN MOONWALK!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
