Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think my moral compass just broke
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
