Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
