Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
