Is it because I queefed?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
