Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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