the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
