oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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