She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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