I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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