No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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