just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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