mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
