When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
