Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
