It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
