i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
