Umm I'm too high to move.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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