Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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