I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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