You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Drunk is not a location!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize