Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
