sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
